Wondering what the senior care process may be like for you and your loved one? Welcome to the first post in our Family POV series covering the caregiving process from the family’s perspective, written by Silverchair partner Dr. Mary Evans, MD, CMD. Dr. Evans has worked with Silverchair to develop the best resources for families in our Silverchair For Families communication and education system.
Dr. Evans practices medicine full-time in skilled nursing and rehabilitation facilities in Charlottesville, VA with her husband, Dr. Jonathan Evans. She specializes in Hospice and Palliative Medicine, which focuses on symptom management and emphasis on quality of life for patients with a limited life expectancy. She also serves as Medical Director for skilled nursing facilities, and is the President of the Virginia Medical Directors Association.
You’ve come to visit your mom, but she’s in therapy now. You sit down in her room, get comfortable and decide to read the paper until your mom is ready to visit. You notice the staff coming in seems to have easy camaraderie with your mother’s roommate as they smile and call her by name. You wonder how your mom can develop these warm, easy relationships with the staff at our facility. Now that you and your mom are becoming accustomed to the new surroundings and schedule, let’s take some time to get to know the caregivers who will be touching your loved one’s life.
The caregivers who will be spending the most time face to face with your mom are probably the Certified Nursing Assistants (CNAs). Most senior care communities have a team of CNAs who are dedicated to a small group of residents. Take the time to learn their names and get to know them a bit. Building a personal connection to your parent’s caregivers will help you feel more secure when you are back at home. You and your parent will also interact with the nurses, therapists, dietary aides, and other care professionals on a daily basis. You may also encounter housekeepers, business office workers, dieticians, and other allied professionals at the facility. If you take a moment each day to acknowledge and greet these staffers, you will go a long ways toward helping to build a pleasant atmosphere for your loved one.
As in any relationship, you may encounter misunderstandings or communication difficulties. If you encounter a problem with one of your parent’s caregivers, try to resolve the question or issue directly with the person involved. Most of the time a misunderstanding can be straightened out with a simple conversation. Of course, approaching the care staff in a mutually respectful manner will be more likely to help foster a trusting and caring relationship with the caregivers. If addressing the issue directly with the person involved doesn’t seem to solve the problem, you can ask to speak with a manager or administrator about your concern. We want to know if you are unhappy or have questions so we can address them and put you at ease.
If you have been caring for your parent at home, you may find it difficult to relinquish your caregiving role to someone else. In fact, it could be expected to have some anxiety and worry about having someone new care for your loved one. You are the expert on your parent’s day-to-day needs. You understand how your mom likes her coffee, the best way to bathe her and get her dressed, and what her favorite bedtime routine is. You can help your parent adjust to a new living environment by sharing your knowledge of your parent’s favorite routines with direct caregivers. The care staff will appreciate your help in understanding your parent’s wishes.
When Mom returns from therapy, take a moment to say hello to her therapist, and when the aide comes to answer her call bell, ask her where she’s from. You can help your parent have a productive, enjoyable stay at the skilled nursing facility by learning about our caring community!